Thursday, March 11, 2010

A mush of nine months

It has been almost a year since I have last posted a blog entry. I am sure my three followers have been anxiously awaiting my wisdom and insight that only a genius like myself could provide. This will be a stream-of-conscious rant of sorts. I am not sure where I am going with this. Think of it as Blog Free Jazz. Or Free Jazz Blogging. Ornette Coleman going toot toot on his sax...

Faith and I have battled, made love, hung out awkwardly, and had sincere moments of peace and clarity. I have been a Mormon since December 1997, in the which time I have been a stumbling but sincere student of Jesus Christ. This has been such a blessing and source of illumination when it comes to the dull muddlery (a word I made up which means what it sounds like) of politics, process theology, and living in Utah. There are many hardships through which I had to pass in the past year. Trying to come to terms and adjust to the idea that my mother had left the church was the biggest one.

On this side of the trial canyon, I can both look back and look at myself and see more clearly what this journey has been all about. I have learned to be ok with doubt; to realize that it is so integral to growth that, without it, we can only maintain our status, but never increase. It's as if doubt is similar to the last few reps done when one is lifting weights. You feel confident in the first part, but when you get to the last rep, your confidence can waver a little bit. Even if you have a spotter that you completely trust, and has never let you down before, you get a little bit nervous. It is when you push through that point where you don't know whether or not you were going to make it that the most powerful growth and development happens. But a day or two later, the worry part of the lifting has completely disappeared from your mind. That is how I feel now. Man, it was tough. But, oh, how it gave me a stronger heart. Not only stronger, but softer, too. I really feel more spiritually equipped to help those who are struggling or just getting their butts kicked by life.

Thank goodness for the understanding that this life is but a test. That knowledge sweetens the sour and brightens the darkness.

Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see the distant scene.
One step, enough for me.

I feel that my capacity to love through all of this has been increased. I have empathy for my fellow men. Not just the Christians, or the Mormons, or the homeless. I really feel more love for my athiest friends. Their ideas don't bother me. I don't feel they need to be fought. Rather, as a Mormon, I feel I should listen to them for what truth may be contained in their message that could be a corrective for my behavior. Jesus taught using the people most despised by the Pharisees: the Samaritans. Christ also taught to love your enemies and bless them that curse you. And Mormon prophet Spencer W. Kimball said that the purpose for loving our enemies is to bring about a time when they are no longer our enemies. These ideas have sunk deeply into my heart in the past year.

Yet, I have also felt an increasing rage toward anyone who espouses a view that has a negative attitude toward the poor, especially among  people who profess to follow Christ. It has bothered me more and more to see Christians crapping on the poor through word and deed. Perhaps this is my next trial. Learning to love those that are full of bitterness and hate toward the less fortunate. I think I will decide to make that my goal. Or maybe I can be a gadfly and just tell them to repent of their cruelty.

To lighten this post a bit, here's as few song titles for old time's sake:

Pony Bites
Mush Corn in my Mouth
Colonoscopants
Hard Time Peeing
Barf Chrome Beef Party

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Piggy Pox (aka swine flu): a poem

I am so glad i have gas masks
Many tasks to perform
I sit in my house
and wait for the swarm
Tape all the windows
and seal all the doors
free from disease
away from the spores
eating my freeze dried
carrots and peas
wait what was that?
did i hear a sneeze?!?!?!
Oh no! oh dear,
my husband is sick
untape the doors
to the hospital! Quick!
Off to our car
gas masks in hand
I lysol my husband
and skid off through sand
emergency room entrance
Help us oh please!!!
quarantine now! my husband just sneezed!!
Lady relax,
the nurse told me there
you don't have to worry
don't be so scared
go home and get rest
your husband is fine
there's no need to fret
about flu of the swine
i started to trust her
but when she turned around
a squiggley pigtail
popped out of her gown!!!

to be continued?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

OLPs 4/21/08

Mustache Wednesday

Pump Up the Bible

Toupee Or Not Toupee

Children Are Our Furniture

Nick Nack Paddy Whack Give A Dog The Finger

Qrayola Qurans

... you're welcome.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ten Years Ago Today

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold shot and killed 13 of their classmates and then themselves. This act threw America into debates about everything from gun control to the use and side effects of anti-depressants. In my memory, this was the first event that shook my innocence and also, i feel, the innocence of my generation (an innocence that was totally destroyed on 9/11/01).

I wish the shootings never happened. But they did. It forced so many people to confront issues that had been on the back-burner. I felt everything from sadness for the victims to sympathizing with the shooters.

I only bring this up so that the three people who might actually look at this blog would stop and ponder what the real causes of this were. Was it really video games and Marilyn Manson? Was it really bullying and antidepressants? Was it really a conflict of religion or the lack thereof? Something so tragic deserves at least another look on it's 10-year anniversary.

Jon and Kate get offended: Jung and Me

Last night, on TLC, there was a Jon and Kate Plus 8 special on going green. The Gosselins were having solar panels installed on their house. I had a strong feeling they were paid to do so, but still, good for them being self-sufficient.

Apparently this made an impression on my subconscious. I had a dream that I was at Jon and Kate's house. They were filming a special where comedians came to visit and talk with the children. But the comedians only tried to say the most offensive things they could. One of the comedians was Bob Saget. He leaned down to the kids and said in a really friendly dad voice,"I used to have sex with kids just like you!" George Carlin showed up and a couple other comedians as well, but i can't remember what they said. But Kate was speechless at how offensive the comedians were. The dream then turned into me interviewing a clown my wife used to date while the firebombings of Dresden were happening. Which has nothing to do with my point.

Now, I have read Carl Jung's Man and His Symbols, and have a basic understanding of how to develop a Jungian interpretation of my dreams. Everything in the dream represents something else. Perhaps Jon, Kate and all the kids represent my inner child, or my yearning for a return to childhood and innocence. And perhaps the comedians represent the feelings i have which are trapped by my inhibitions. On the stage of my mind, my subconscious permitted me to have a battle between these two conflicting parts of my psyche, thus inviting me to integrate them and thus become more whole. Perhaps by not inhibiting my humor or desires i can experience greater fulfillment which is only being blocked by the false hope of a return to innocence.

Or maybe it's because my wife was watching Jon and Kate plus 8 in the other room while i was asleep. And I had watched a celebrity roast last night... Whichever...

Friday, April 17, 2009

OLPs 4/17/09

Hope these get at least a chuckle.

What's Up with Down Syndrome?

Staunch Relativist

Margarine Phalanges

Third World Hamburger

and one for all the communists out there:

Sneakers of the world, UNTIE!!!!

Good day.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

OLPs 4/14/08

After yesterday's post about One Line Poems, I decided to look for my collection of OLPs from the last 3 years. I could not find them anywhere. I was fretting quite a bit, but I finally did find them! Thank goodness. SO without further ado:

Osteoperogi
Cocoa Focus
Oof! You Kicked My Tummy!
George W. Boobs
Out-of-Booty Experience
Whippity Peepers Sneezed A Weasel
Chicken Cordon Bling
The Church of Jerks